16 December, 2010

Taking deep breaths...

Today is one of those days. I've gone from excitement to terror to hopelessness to hysteria to complete and utter calm. And it's only just noon. See, it's finals week at Small Town U, and after three semesters as a GA I still haven't mastered the Zen of the teacher/student. I've been working on my own final projects, helping my panicked students work on theirs, and in the middle of that, I got the most difficult writing assignment ever.

My first project of the week was a 15 page paper on William Blake. Cake. Easy-sauce. I got this. Sort of. At least it's finished is the mantra on that bad boy. I'm relatively convinced that there are in fact elements of Buddhism and the Tao in Marriage of Heaven and Hell; I just hope I've convinced the woman who now holds my paper (and my grade) in her hands. In case she's reading this, they are wonderful, lovely hands indeed, attached to a truly fabulous person. Now please like my paper. Please.

At the moment, I'm working on (or more precisely, thinking about planning to start working on), my final final project of the semester: a website discussing the binary opposition between Guinevere and Morgan le Fay. On the one hand, I'm excited to combine one of my favorite composition media with my all-time favorite story cycle to create something academic in a non-academic context. On the other hand, this site ain't gonna map itself, and at some point I need to actually put something on the screen.

The thing I really want to be thinking about just at the moment is "Snow and Feathers," the short story I have coming out this weekend. It's being published by Macabro Xtreme Publishing, and will be available as an ebook. You should check it out. Or maybe you shouldn't. I don't know. Publishing in the horror genre is almost scarier than anything I could possibly write. Read it, but pretend it's not me who wrote it. Or something. If I can get over this stupid Jane Austen complex about showing other people my work, maybe I'll post a link when it's out.

It was this upcoming publication that led to that really difficult writing assignment I was talking about. Do you have any idea how hard it is to write a "one or two paragraph bio?" Seriously. Try it and see for yourself. I can write page after page about pretty much anything I've ever read; I know this because as an English major I basically have. I have written massive scholarly papers about Emily Dickinson, Henry Fielding, and the World of Warcraft. I have (very nearly) written a complete novel about characters who exist only in my own mind. But a bio? About me? Eeeek.

Here's me this morning:
Lynn Caldwell is...Lynn Caldwell is a...OK, that's four words...how many words does an effective paragraph really need to be? Oooh, I know, Lynn Caldwell is a graduate student studying technical writing at...oh man, if I put the actual university up someone might stalk me...ummmm...I HAVE DOGS!

Anyway, if you read the anthology, which I hope you will, and should you read my story specifically, which I think I hope you will, keep in mind that I'm bad at bios. But I'm really not the odd, socially awkward creature I sometimes seem to be. I hope.


  1. This is great! I feel like I know you so much better now. You are a great bioist :P Thanks for sharing!

  2. Lynn Caldwell is an assumed name for a badass Dwarf with a really large battle axe. Lynn can be found downing mugs of mead and eating legs of fowl at the Tavern Inn in Warcraftdale between her many adventures, orc killing sprees, and mercenary activities.

  3. Daniele, I need to hire you to be my official biographer. Come the revolution, this skill will be very helpful.

  4. And it's Goldshire, not "Warcraftdale." Geez, is a little research too much to ask? ;)

  5. Hey, that's in there for Vanilla Iceian plausible deniabilty. "Hey! My bio *clearly* says Goldshire. Daniele's *completely different* bio says Warcraftdale! They're nothing alike, therefore I didn't plagiarize!"

    (Yeah! Yeah! That's exactly why I didn't do a wikipedia on WoW for some basic info. Yeah, that's the ticket!)